The Rabbit Hole
by Jackie Avocado
Summary: Welcome to The Rabbit Hole, a place to dump whatever random idea that goes through my head. Yeah, that's right, it's not even an actual story, just a place to put plot bunnies down without making a full on story. But, if you're interested in what my crazy mind can make, then, by all means, hop on in, and welcome to insanity!
1. To Love Ru X Bloodborne idea

**This one-shot comes from the choices I gave readers in the last chapter of my old story Heaven and Hell, Abyss and Blood.**

 **Rito from To Love Ru thrown into the Bloodborne and comes back as a Great One  
**  
Rito Yuuki wasn't your normal fifteen-year-old high schooler.

He was a lot taller than your average high schooler, a solid six feet tall. Had long orange-brown spiky hair, he too lazy to cut it, besides, he liked it long. His eyes were dark red and his skin was pale, he had some muscle on him, most of the physical labor he did made him pretty strong for his age. He wore a long dark red jacket with a black shirt underneath, a pair of jeans, and a black pair of boots.

He was thankful that his fellow student, Saki Tenjouin, gave him a job as a butler at her manor. It brought in some extra cash, he needed it to provide for himself and his sister, Mikan.

He loved his sister, he really did, she was all he had left after their parents died two years ago. Rito's father was driving them all back home when a drunk driver crashed into them. Their parents were dead on impact, and Rito, he was in a month-long coma, leaving Mikan all alone. When he woke up, he swore he'd never leave his little sister alone like that ever again, he just wished he could forget what he experienced in that month. It wasn't just a month for him.

He spent years in Yharnam, a cluster fuck of tragedy and bad decisions. A city famed for its healing blood, a miracle people far and wide would journey for. Too bad the place was the biggest shit hole this side of the universe.

Things that were wrong with it consisted but were not limited to: few Lovecraftian, multidimensional, mind breaking, god-like creatures, some blood from said Lovecraftian creatures that turns people into monsters, a citywide religion based on blood, some Scientologist nut jobs, and throw in a group made to kill the monster the blood created for good measure. Also, the only booze around was blood cocktails. That right there was a grande recipe for a self-destructive downward spiral if anyone's ever heard it. But Rito didn't just hear it, he experienced it.

It may have been a month out here, but in that place, it was years. Years of blood, dying over and over again, killing. The whole damn nine yards.

None of it mattered now though. Yharnam was long gone, he sure of that. After the Great One, Flora was killed by his hands and he became a Great One, he burnt Yharnam to the ground himself.

That place was a hell he wouldn't wish on anyone and wouldn't risk letting it spread.

Now, all he had was his sister, and by god would he do everything he could to make her happy. She was the one link to humanity he had left, the light in the dark. He did all the housework, cooked, worked, and made sure to make time for Mikan.

If anything happened to her… he'd be on a damned warpath. Absolutely nothing would stop him to make whoever dared to harm his sister pay.

But now something unexpected happened, earlier in the year, was now the fiancée to a particular pink-haired alien princess whose father rules the Milky Way galaxy.

Lala Satalin Deviluke, the precious cinnamon roll that she is, was quite the quirky individual that barged into their lives with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. Seriously, when she suddenly teleported into his bathtub, he damn near decapitated her on the spot. Thankfully, he had an ask questions first sort of mentality.

Rito noticed a taiyaki stand as he walked.

 _"I could go for some taiyaki right now, should pick some up for Lala and Mikan."_ he thought as he walked over.

Rito bought a full bag of taiyaki. He took one of the fish-shaped treats and bit a chunk out of it.

"Ah, that's the stuff," he said with a small smile.

Ever since he got back from the Hunt, he thoroughly enjoyed the luxuries of a normal, modern life. No more gruesome deaths, no more blood on his hands… well, not as much, and some damn good food. No more eldritch gods, aside from himself, to make his life hell.

As far as he was concerned, he was in retirement.

But there always was that… itch he couldn't quite scratch anymore. Sometimes, he really did miss the feeling of being in covered blood. Rito gave a warm but somewhat cruel smile. The horrible memories of the Hunt giving him a sense of nostalgia.

As Rito walked he noticed someone staring at him.

She was a foot shorter than him, but her long hair was a lovely shade of gold. Her slim body wasn't very visibly muscled but didn't have much fat either. She had modestly sized breast and an hourglass figure with good hips. She had cold red eyes just like he did, and had light peace skin. She wore a black top with detached sleeves, with a hole in her shirt shaped like a four-pointed star, showing some of her cleavage. The skirt she wore was rather short, scandalous almost. He could practically hear his classmate, Yui Kotegawa, scream "Shameless!" in his head. She also wore an assortment of black belts on her thighs for some reason. Probably a fashion statement.

 _"Um...shit, she's still staring at me. What do I do?"_

Rito was pretty antisocial, not to mention socially awkward, after Yharnam, he couldn't connect to people very well. Partly his fault too for not putting in much effort.

 _"Maybe she wants some taiyaki?"_ Rito thought as he walked up to her.

He held out one of the fish shaped treats.

"Want one?" he asked his voice as monotone as ever.

The mysterious girl blinked in confusion before gently taking the taiyaki out of his hand.

She took a bite out of the taiyaki. "...Earthling food is really strange..."

Rito narrowed his eyes. "I see, you're not from Earth."

Lala's marriage candidates were always a pain in the ass to deal with. Then again, he usually had bad luck when it came to otherworldly creatures, the situation usually ended with an eldritch monster's head on a stick.

Suddenly, the girl moved closer to him, her hands on his shoulders.

"...You're Rito Yuuki." She said.

"I am, and what of it?" Rito asked.

 _Shing!_

"Gah!" Rito coughed up blood as his chest had been slashed into deeply.

The girl's hand had transformed into a blade, his own blood dripping from the lethal appendage.

"Someone asked me to eliminate you." She said. "I have no grudge against you, but I must ask you to die."

"Well, you're doing a pretty shitty job of making me die." Rito scowled, he was more annoyed than angry.

The girl blinked, that was not the kind of reaction she got from most of her targets.

"...What?"

Rito rolled his eyes. "You were in the perfect stabbing distance but you go for a slash instead, really? You could have ended me right there with a simple stab to the heart or head, but no, you just go for one of my lungs instead. Goodness, you'd think intergalactic assassins would have _some_ measure of professionalism."

Truly, this unprofessional act of murder offended Rito and hurt him on a deep spiritual level. He had spent years of his life learning how to kill things in the most efficient ways possible. Even though Rito could tell she had _some_ blood on her hands, in his eyes, that first attempt on his life made him consider her a rookie.

Time to just get this over with.

Rito's arm was consumed by a dark eldritch energy and transformed the appendage into a large, grotesque sword-like blade with eyeballs peppering the transformed arm.

Rito brought down his bladed arm on the girl's head.

The assassin's eyes widened and manipulated her hair into a shield to block the blade. Rito's bladed arm sliced through the girl's hair-shield like a hot knife through butter.

The girl moved out of the way at the last second, she a small cut on her cheek, at least she wasn't dead.

 _"He has powers like I do, just what is he?"_ the girl thought.

"Oh, you're still alive?" he asked rhetorically. "I was planning to get his over with one blow, but since you're still alive, I guess you have _some_ skill in combat."

Rito's other arm transformed into a large set of claws with eyeballs on in as well. He took on of the taiyaki from the bag with his claws and bit into it.

"Show me a good time, Goldilocks."

And with that, the two lunged at each other.

 **Oneshot End.**

Index


	2. BUSTED FateStay Night SI Idea!

So, this is going to be **SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME!** Or a complete trainwreck. I _WILL_ be disappointed if not the latter.

Well, this idea comes from me seeing everyone in damn near every Fate fic dealing with an SI, I mean seriously, fucking _everyone_ does this shit when if they Self-Insert into a Type-Moon related work.

...Using Tracing.

Alright, guys, I know Tracing fucking dope as shit, and broke as fuck. But goddammit think of something else! No! Stay the fuck away from the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception!

But for some more context, this whole idea started when I read this, which was posted by Plyen on my story A Blade Borne to Kill.

 ** _"Not exactly. The first and most important rule of the Nasuverse is that all rules can be violated until they are lying there glassy-eyed, broken, and begging for your semen, so long as you know how or have the right tools. The bigger the rule the better, but the harder it is to pull off. Also, the more slutty the rule, the worse; rules that you manage to turn into your personal sex slave and not share with anybody else? Those ones are the best, especially if you are the first person to ever stick your dong in them._**

 ** _That's basically how everything supernatural in Type-Moon works. If you aren't violating rules of the world, you are the most mundane of mundanes. Even things like marble phantasms work by the world voluntarily stripping the rules down and spreading their legs for the user to do as they please, instead of trying to guard their purity like a strict catholic grandma the way it normally does._**

 ** _Basically, the world is perfectly consistent. It's just that it's consistency lies in the fact that "consistency" in anything else only lasts until someone comes along and figures out how to stick their metaphorical dick in the right metaphorical hole, and that is by design._**

 ** _It's not supposed to be serious or to have iron-clad anything, and it never was. The very idea is antithetical to its very base cosmology."_**

And I was all like... "Hmmm, if Shirou can fuck Projection until it mindbreaks because of his Element and Origin, what else could happen because of a unique and abstract Element and Origin?"

So, I decided to do something _completely_ retarded!

Even more so since it _requires_ you to be a Self-Insert.

So, let's say for some reason Zelretch threw my sorry ass into the Type-Moon world for whatever reason.

Due to being from a completely different parallel reality with no concept of Gaia or Alaya I would automatically be a unique existence in that world. And by the very slim chance that I'm not CTRL ALT DEL form the world, and my body adapts becoming fully integrated, I would gain an Element and Origin, maybe some Magic Circuits too.

But what we're focusing on here is the Element and Origin which would be Outsider

The Outsider Element and Origin is obtained due to how an average person would view the Type-Moon world, as fiction. Reality and Fiction are easy to tell apart, you can point to something and say if it's real or not and I could either tell you that, yes, it is, in fact, real... or I could call you out on your bullshit and go for ice cream to replenish the innocence you've blackened with your _filthy_ disease!... I like cookies and cream. But yeah, what happens when you put someone who's mind can firmly tell apart reality from fiction _into_ fiction.

That kind of unique perspective is exactly how Shirou Emiya got a Reality Marble so early in his life. An ability that Daemons commonly use due to their Alien Common Sense.

Now, to get to the point of all this long-winded bullshit, this SI with the particular Origin and Element of Outsider would be able to comprehend and interact with the very _concepts_ of the world around him through the use of Structural Analysis and Reinforcement!

Sit your asses down kiddies, shit's about to get 100% **BUSTED!** More busted than your first day of No Nut November! ...You fucking know who you are.

So yes, through this SI's unique Element and Origin of Outsider, interaction with alteration of concepts are possible, but under normal circumstances, only concepts on himself are able to be altered, and even then it is fucking BUSTED!

Now shit on this level would be _impossible_ without a metric fuckton of Prana, and this type of magecraft fixes that problem too.

Altering the concepts of Prana Production and Prana Capacity are a simple matter.

Let's say that with the SI's current natural Prana output that he could change his Production and Capacity both to 5x, he'd have to wait until the Capacity has been filled until he reaches the next logical level. Then it'd be 10x Production and Capacity, 15x, 20x, 25x, you get the point. But the thing is, you can't stack the multipliers like that since Production and Capacity take place in the Soul, where Magic Circuits are, it's a very sensitive thing. Think of the Soul as an exe file, or better yet, a game that hasn't been turned on yet, putting on 5x Production and Capacity is like turning to program On, but let's say you change 5x to10x _while_ the program is still On, altering the 'Code' of the program while still running.

I'll put it like this your soul would burn itself down to ectoplasmic goo. Changing the 'Code' of a program while it's still running is one big NO!

Now, you may be thinking, "Hey, this isn't too bad, while it's pretty OP, at least it has some limits and can't get any crazier than some Reality Marble shenanigans."

Heh...hehehehe...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 **Cue** **J Jonah Jameson Laughing!**

Oh, you sweet summer FOOLS!

I've already found a workaround to that _minor_ inconvenience!

One of the biggest drawbacks of Tracing is that it can't get past Gaia's bullshit detector. That's why Shirou and Archer's Projections degrade and fade away. This, however, gives the middle finger to that.

Going back to the videogame analogy with the Soul, think of this little workaround as a Hooking Program or a sort of 'Aimbot' that people would use to cheat in games.

Let's say the Soul is the 'Game', Gaia is the 'Game Server' and something like runes are the outside 'Program' sending information to the 'Game Server' tricking it into thinking what I'm doing is natural instead of unnatural. With that in mind, I could remove every logical limit on my Soul, giving me infinite Capacity with an absolutely _ludicrous_ Production rate!

And this is all possible because Gaia perceives this to be natural.

Let me remind you all that this is _just_ the Production and Capacity of Prana alone, think the bullshit that will happen when things like Inertia, Gravity, and Force get involved!

This is busted beyond anything I've come up with! And I came up with Great One Shirou Emiya!

Don't even get me started on the shenanigans that will go down when the SI starts using specialized Bounded Fields that allow him to alter the Concepts in select areas, basically turning the place into a pseudo-Reality Marble.

Hell, even Noble Phantasms aren't safe from this level of bullshit.

Gate of Babylon?

Sorry, not in my house.

Gáe Bolg?

You missed my heart. HOW DID MISS MY HEART I WAS THREE FEET IN FRONT OF YOU!?

God Hand?

Omae wa mou shindeiru.

Rule Breaker?

That's cute, let me show you how it's done, scrub!

Though I would have to limit how powerful I could get because no matter how natural my existence is to Gaia, if I get too powerful, it'll perceive me as a threat and start throwing shit at me left and right or just outright delete my ass.

So, I'd say high tier Heroic Spirit would probably be my limit. Even then that is fucking broken.

And this shit is even more busted when you realized that it has parts of First Magic and Third Magic meshed into it. Fuck, at this point it might as well be it's own Magic since it deals with tricking the fundamental programming of the universe to let a few things slide.

So, yeah, this the abomination I created from reading a short post explaining the Type-Moon world.

Do you all now hate me more than Gabriel Blessing and Third Fang yet?


	3. MGE X Monster Musume Smut Fic idea

Oh boy, oh fucking boy, this... this can only end in flames, I just know it.

I'm really going down the rabbit hole with this one... haha, I can't even lift my spirits up with horrible puns. Off to a fantastic start.

So, I foreshadowed this in my Dragonar Academy fic The Black Hammer of Dragonar.

 ** _I perked up. "That isn't too bad. What world were you originally going to send me to?" "A crossover world between Monster Girl Encyclopedia and Monster Musume."_**

 ** _I damn near dropped my cola at his words… then actually did and grabbed him by his collar getting up in his face._**

 ** _"How could you lose that bet!?"_**

 ** _"Dude, the all or nothing bet was an eternities supply of Twinkies and Kit-Kats."_**

And thus, I've shown you all that I do, in fact, know what foreshadowing is.

That's right, this smut fic will be a crossover between Monster Girl Encyclopedia and Monster Musume!

To put a long story short, some Zelretch shenanigans happen as per usual, and I get my ass thrown into a fusion world between the two series.

Though I will have to change somethings and patch up a few holes in how Monster Girl Encyclopedia works. To explain, in MGE monster girls _only_ give birth to other monster girls, no new males, and it's incredibly apparent that the monster girls will overtake the world turning it into one big Demon Realm, and while males are given extended lifespans by turning into incubui, they aren't immortal.

The fridge horror here is that sooner or later all the men are going to die out and the monster girls will soon follow. The MGE world fucked itself over.

So, to fix this, I'm going to take advantage of the fact that MGE has gods in it and create my own pantheon of goddesses that help run the world.

The Goddess of Light, creator of the Angles and ruler of Order, the Realm of Light. The Fallen Goddess of Depravity, caretaker of the Fallen Angles and ruler of Pandemonium, the Realm of Chaos. And finally, the Demon Lord/Goddess of Darkness, creator of the Monsters and ruler of the Abyss, the Realm of Darkness.

TL;DR the Goddess of Light figured out what would happen with things with the monster girls went out of control and infused a good portion of women in the human race with holy energy so that no matter how much demonic energy is flooded through them, they won't change into a monster girl _unless_ they themselves wish for it.

The trio of goddesses acts more like a comedy group more than actual gods.

The Light Goddess is the straight man of the group and needs more hugs due to all of the crazy shit she has to deal with.

The Fallen Goddess is all about the lewd. If it ain't lewd... well it needs to be lewd. Too lewd for school!

And the Demon Lord/Goddess of Darkness is an edge load chuunibyou, nuff said.

The timeline that leads up to the events of the present day are as followed.

10,000 years ago, the world was a lot more like the MGE world, then the Light Goddess suggested that they all stop interfering with the world and let everything take its natural course, surprisingly, everyone was on board for this. So, the 10,000 years go by, humanity has grown into the most widespread and dominant race in the world and the monsters live alongside them and in the shadows in secret, until present day where the monsters decide it's time to publicly reveal themselves and co-exist with humanity, and as such the Cultural Exchange Between Species Bill is passed. The Goddesses see this happening and decide to get involved again to make sure no stupid shit happens, but since the world now is so self-sustaining, they're all basically glorified, god-powered desk workers.

So, Zelretch shenanigans happened, and I'm transported into this world in a very showy fashion that gets the government involved and I end up in the custody of Kuroko Smith better known as Ms. Smith. Since it's known that I'm from a parallel dimension and not from their's, they have some difficulty discerning where I fit in the Cultural Exchange Bill, and trouble with not really knowing what to do with me. Not to mention the three goddesses also have something to say about this whole mess too.

Smith suggests that they use me as an experiment for the Cultural Exchange Bill, but considering my unique circumstances, I'm a sort of loop-hole in the law. Using this to her advantage, she proclaims this experiment would be more about the sexual relations between humans and liminals.

You see the reason why the No Sex With Hot Monster Girls law was passed was that of the demonic energy changing human men through sex, and since it's been so damn long, no one really knows the ups and downs of it since there's little to no information.

So, Ms, Smith actually gets the okay for this and being her irresponsible self, throws me into a house alone with a super sexy nine-tailed kitsune who just so happens to be the daughter of Tamamo-no-Mae herself. Normally, she's a very kind and loving person, but due to the fact that she takes great pride in the fact that she's kitsune royalty, and small _tiny_ fact that she's in heat and is doing everything she can to resist her primal urges, she comes off as pretty damn tsundere.

Thankfully, we're not dealing with the Love Hina violent type of tsundere. She's more like Noire from Hyperdimension Neptunia in terms of tsun than anything... which makes it impossible for me to not tease her.

But the real kicker of this whole situation is that neither the kitsune girl nor Ms. Smith explains to me that she's in heat, and well... she at least lasted a full month before bounding me in her tails and running up to the bedroom with me in toe at speeds no living creature should ever reach.

I already have the whole harem made and set in stone, no other girls will be added, but I will list them all here. Assume all of the girls are based on their MGE counterparts unless stated otherwise. I only really have the Kitsune girl planned out as of now.

Kitsune: Name - Yukiko Matsumoto

Appearance is based on Ara's Shakti job path from Elsword.

Liliarune

Raiju

Demon

Apophis

Wight

Dragon:

Appearance is based on Artoria Pendragon Lancer (Alter)

Kuroko Smith is probably somewhere in there.

The story is going to be a Slice of Life/Romance/Comedy story contrasting my more plot-driven fics.

So you know it's going to crash hard!

Tell me what you think of this shitty story I came up with!


	4. No NTR in my house!

This story is... oh dear Lord what have I done!?

So, another SI story, because why the fuck not?

...Oh god, I'm a sick human being!

So this story has been simmering in my subconscious for ages, and I can blame it all on one single meme!

The meme where this one guy sips from a mug and says this: Every fetish is great... *sip* Except NTR.

And then for some fucking reason, the past few days I couldn't get this story idea out of my head.

Now here it is.

What if I was reborn into an NTR Hentai World and went ham on everyone's ass?

And thus, I have strayed even further from God!

One of the twists with this Self-Insert is that I get a Pseudo-Gamer power, but instead of my life being like an RPG, it's like a Dating Sim, but it's super OP.

While I can't use this to get physically stronger in any way, I'm able to use it to read the emotions, thoughts, and see what someone's next actions will be, and the best part is that it works on _everyone_. And if used right, can make me a complete beast in any kind of fight.

And with this almighty power, I can prevent any dumb dirty old man trope or school gangrape plot from happening to any girls I get... that and prevent the perverted rapist step-sibling trope, probably get the one up over someone with hypnosis and or mind control powers, blackmail, ect... fuck, I'm going to have to deal with a lot of shit.

Here's an example of how bullshit this power can be at times.

So, later in this story, things get a bit crazy and I have to use my power to take on the city's most powerful Yakuza group by myself because the father of one of my girls were neck deep in debut to them and they wanted her as compensation. And obviously, through hentai logic, no one was going to tell me a damn thing, until it was too late, so it's a damn good thing I have that power!

It also comes with a map, showing where everyone's in real time, so that's helpful too.

Armed with a sharpened kitchen knife and a taser, and after playing a shit ton of Assassin's Creed and the Batman: Arkham series, I go right on in and actually pull it off.

But this does get the attention of the city as a whole since I've basically opened up a huge power vacuum, but through this act, I also gain the attention of a super secret assassination organization.

Thankfully, they just want to recruit me, because if they wanted me dead, then my powers wouldn't help me at all with the sheer numbers they'd send my way.

Also, this organization is based on the one from the manhwa, Household Affairs.

But the most fucked part about all of this is my family situation.

So, here's how fucked that is!

As it turns out, the person who I consider my father in that world got NTRed pretty damn hard and was left with me, the child of this whole affair. Said affair included the wife being seduced by the dad's own boss and then devolved into gangbangs organized by the dad's stepbrother because he's a sick fuck like that.

Well, I'm born from the whole fucking mess, no one knows who's kid I am exactly, and when I realize all this shit was happening, you can see me in the shower for hours on end with a thousand-yard stare.

My first goal for all of this bullshit is to fix this completely fucked situation and help my dad get back at everyone.

The idea I have for this is that it turns out that the SI's dad began dating the hottie of a CEO that was actually the boss of the dad's former boss who NTRed him, and the CEO falls head over heels for the dad. So, when he tells her what his old boss did to him later down the line, she's absolutely furious, fires his former boss and practically ruins the lives everyone that was involved in the whole ordeal.

But on the other hand, poetic irony through _more_ NTR does sound sort of hilarious.

Like through the SI's power, he has some sort of dumb shop where he can buy items and use that to help the dad steal the other bastard's wives, making a harem that's just a big middle finger to everyone that ruined his life.

But after the SI fixes up his dead's fucked up life, the story moves onto me going into high school and proceeding to fuck up everyone's NTR fun... and getting a harem, becuase fuck it why not?

So, how bad is this story concept?


	5. Highschool of The Dead X PROTOTYPE

Okay, alright it's... ( **proceeds to check the time** ) 5am... I got nothing better to do than expand one of my longest SI ideas.

So, ( **Claps hands together** ) Highschool of The Dead crossing over with the [PROTOTYPE] series.

While I have seen some fics HoTD crossovers with [PROTOTYPE], none of them were very entertaining, to be honest.

That and when you try to mesh the story of [PROTOTYPE] into fucking anything without making the characters completely OCC.

Real talk here, the story and characters of the [PROTOTYPE] are fucking awful. The gameplay is endlessly entertaining, don't get me wrong... but fuck the story and characters.

This video, Why the World Needs a New [PROTOTYPE] Game, by one of my favorite YouTubers Purposeless Rabbitholes, explains this the best when he starts breaking down the story.

He's fucking amazing, I highly recommend watching him, the guy is fucking hilarious.

Anyway, the basis of the story is that, once again, I die and Zelretch does his thing by reincarnating me as Takashi Komuro. Some changed character dynamics later, and Japan has gone to hell because of Blacklight and Alex Mercer being a complete fuck head. Seriously, have you guys read the comic that explains why he went evil in the second game? It's fucking ridiculous and should burn!

Though, unfortunately, it's what I have to deal with to make this story happen.

So, Japan goes to shit because of zombies and infected monsters everywhere and Alex infects me with the DX-1118 C viral strand of Blacklight because of-fucking-course he does. He was dumb enough to infect most of those people in [PROTOTYPE2] so I wouldn't put it past him to do the same to a high school student for shits and giggles.

Now, I'm a reincarnation, I know just how bullshit Blacklight can be, and I'm still just as insane as I've always been.

Someone play Don't Stop Me Now by Queen, cause tonight I'm going to have myself a real good time.

And since this takes place _durning_ [PROTOTYPE2] Heller, Daina and even Alex himself are going to have to deal with my crazy shenanigans.

Also harem... also Saeko and Shizuka are best girls.


	6. Bleach X Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

Alllllllllright! Another retarded SI crossover idea!

So, Bleach and...

Drumroll, please!

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance!

Don't ask me what I was on when I thought of this? Cause I have no damned clue.

Basically, it just boils down to either becoming a random Shinigami or Ichigo having MGRR characters as Zanpakutō, Hollow, and Quincy powers.

Obviously, the Shinigami route would really start to kick off when Ichigo and the gang break into the Soul Society, but this route would only have Hollow powers and regular Shinigami abilities.

The plot of this route isn't very thought out honestly, either join Aizen then stab him in the back _just_ before his plan come into fruition just to see to look on his face, or I could just fuck off and do my own thing for whatever reason.

Zanpakutō: Samuel/Jetstream Sam

Asauchi: HF Blade

Shikai: HF Murasama

Bankai: Nanomachines... Son.

Hollow: Raiden/Jack

Now for Ichigo's route.

The plot synopsis for this one is pretty simple. I'm reborn as Ichigo after death, not sure if I should have foreknowledge or not since the story is going to be following canon for the most part except for some changes here and there considering my personality and added characters based on the Winds of Destruction from MGRR.

Zanpakutō: Samuel/Jetstream Sam

Asauchi: HF Knife

Shikai: HF Blade

Bankai: HF Murasama

Hollow: Raiden/Jack

Quincy: Nanomachines... Son/Armstrong

Fullbringer: Armor Breaker or HF Chainsaw

And yes there will be plenty of memes, they're the DNA of the soul after all.


	7. Guomin Laogong Dai Huijia One-Shot

**Alright, so many of you may be wondering what in the fuck this is?**

 **Well it's a one-shot for a romance series that goes by a few names, Guomin Laogong Dai Huijia, Bringing the Nation's Husband Home, and How to Steal 55 kisses.**

 **It's got a novel with over 900+ chapters, a manga, an anime, and a live-action drama.**

 **WHY IS THIS SHIT SO POPULAR!?**

 **No really, why? I've only read 33 chapters of the manga and I can honestly say is too stupid to be as popular as it seems.**

 **The plot is so convoluted it's ridiculous. That's why I'm fixing this shit before canon even starts!**

 **...And throwing in memes. Because I'm a motherfucking meme machine.**

 **One-Shot: Fix it Meme Lord!**

The rain poured down hard as I drove down the empty street. Bearly a car in sight tonight.

Go to China, she said. It'll be a good experience for you, she said.

Dammit, Chiyo.

Last time it was Japan and they're xenophobic as all fuck.

Well, at least the upside of having an Outer god as a girlfriend is that she can program any language into your brain without having to learn it normally.

That's right, my girlfriend, Chiyo is an insanity inducing eldritch abomination from beyond the stars, her most commonly known name in the human tongue is Shub-Niggurath.

If you get the reference, then have a cookie. Double chocolate chip, bitch!

Also, it was Nyarlathotep's fault, so yeah, things got crazy fast.

Well, Japan was a shitty experience for me and Chiyo wanted me to give the Asian side of the world another shot.

...And I couldn't say no to that face.

So, here I am, in China, working as an electrician, at least it ain't a shitty retail job again.

This is what happens when you inject 50 ccs worth of Cthulhu into your love life.

I gave a pleasant sigh as I thought about my eldritch girlfriend.

She genuinely loves me, her clingy side is super cute. The fact that she's a total hottie is a bonus really.

Knowing my luck, I'll be turned into some kind of eldritch abomination when I die, and eternally roam the cosmos with a fate worse than death.

But hey, I'm the kind of guy that will do the _stupidest_ shit for love.

Wow, it's really pouring down hard tonight.

My windshield wipers can barely keep up with the downpour, but even still, something caught my eye as I drove down the street.

"What in the fudge…?"

I pushed up my glasses a drove slower to make sure I got a good look.

As the object that caught my vision came into focus I felt my heartbeat quicken.

"...I-Is that man collapsed on the sidewalk!?"

I pulled my car up and rushed out into the pouring rain.

"Hey! Dude, are you alright!?" I yelled as I rushed to his side.

I tried shaking him a bit, but I got nothing.

Shit, he wasn't responding. It was starting to look like I'd need to open the Task Manager.

Hopefully, the task wouldn't need to be _ended..._

Eh...I'm not in the mood to be a complete asshole today. You get to live...is he even alive right now?

I put two fingers up to his neck. Yeah, still has a pulse. Let's get you to a hospital, my dude.

I lifted him up, surprised by how light he was, and put him in shotgun, then I made sure his seatbelt was on.

Now let's see, the nearest hospital was...fifteen miles away.

Or was it kilometers? Shit, why does America teach that stupid Standard Imperial crap if no one _else_ uses it? Throwing off my sense of direction.

Welp, it's a good thing my phone's waterproof.

I took out my phone… it didn't work anymore.

Those lying fucks! _Margin of error/variance_ on the fucking exposure time to liquid, my Eldritch girlfriend's tentacled _ass._

Screw it! I'll wing it!

I hit the gas and started driving again.

After a few minutes, I realized that I was getting fucking nowhere, and with the streets so unnaturally barren, I couldn't ask anyone for directions.

"...Uuuuuuuugh." I heard the guy groan.

Huh, looked pretty young, probably a college student. Same as me then.

"Hey, you alright there, dude?"

He could barely keep his eyes open. "...Wha...What happened?"

"I found you collapsed on the sidewalk, man. The hell happened to you?"

"I...I'm not sure. I was walking back home after I finished another acting gig, and I just...blacked out."

An acting gig? How would that make him black out?

Unless…

"Hey, dude, how many of these gigs have you been doing?"

"...As many as I can."

"Fucking hell, man! No wonder you blacked out, you're overworking yourself! The hell are you doing this to yourself for!?"

"I...I just have to."

I sighed. "Is it for a girl?"

He turned his head, not willing to look me in the eyes.

"Christ almighty, do you know where the nearest hospital is? My phone's busted and Google Maps was the only way I was able to get around."

"Ah, yeah… give me a second."

The young man struggled to get his phone out of his pocket.

"...H-Here."

I stopped the car and accessed the phone.

Hey, it's the same model as mine...and it's actually waterproof.

Fuck, there _was_ variance. Unlucky!

Alright, I was actually just four miles away from the hospital...or is it four kilometers? Fuck!

* * *

I got the man to the hospital with little issue...aside from my poor phone. May its backlog of hentai rest in peace.

Good thing I have the tags memorized.

I was asked to stay for a few questions, but I also wanted to make sure that the guy was alright before I left.

"Just make sure you don't keep him up too long, Sir, the poor man needs his rest." The doctor told me.

I gave him a nod and walked into the room.

The first thing I noticed was the cast around his hand, and the bandages around his shoulder and foot. He was laying down in one of the designated hospital beds, clipboard on the front and everything.

"Jesus, dude, how'd a few acting gigs mess you up this badly?" I asked.

He blinked his eyes at my question. "Ah, it's nothing really, I just work as a stunt double sometimes."

I gave him a bland look. "Really? Dude, you barely look like you're out of high school, what in the world do you think you're doing?"

"I'm actually in my senior year of college right now. I'm twenty-four."

"Wow, you're older than me - Wait! That's not the fucking point. Is this girl you're chasing after really worth putting yourself through hell?"

He looked me dead in the eyes. "Anything is worth it as long as she's happy."

Well, can't really fault his resolve then. Takes quite the man to have dedication like that.

I sighed. "My dude, how long have you known this girl you're so dead set on?"

"Since my third year of middle school."

"How often do you two talk?"

"N-Not very often, usually my brother drags me over to talk to his friends, she's usually there along with her sister."

"Have you asked her out yet?"

"...No."

 _Smack!_

I slammed my face into my hand.

"Why? Dear God, _why_ would you do this to yourself?"

"I...I just want to make myself a man worthy of her."

I sighed again and picked up the clipboard by the side of the bed and read it over.

"So, your foot was sprained. How long ago was that?"

His eyes refused to meet mine. "I'm not really sure how that's important right now, Sir."

I crossed my arms and gave him my patented intimidation look.

Heh...that made him freeze up like a deer caught by headlights. Works every time.

"How. Long?"

I could hear him gulp.

"...F-Four days."

"The two broken fingers?"

"A week."

"The dislocated shoulder?"

"Today."

I put my face in my hands and let out a muffled groan of frustration.

For fuck's sake!

I walked right next to my fellow college student and looked at him with disappointment in my eyes.

 _Smack!_

I smacked him over the head with the clipboard.

"Ow! What was that for!?" He yelled angrily.

"For being a moron!" I grabbed a chair and sat next to him. "Dude, you're not making yourself worthy of her, you're killing yourself doing this."

"I-I...but..." he sighed. "Then what do I do?"

"You tell her that you love her." I said bluntly.

He looked away from me. "...It's not that simple."

"It's only as simple as you make it."

"It's just that..." he let out a long sigh. "I think she's in love with my brother."

"And there's the plot twist." I deadpanned. "And what makes you say that?"

"Well, it seems like she's...chasing after my brother."

I raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"Well, she ended up in the same class as my brother, she ended up going to the same university as my brother after he told her which one he was going to, and the two usually end up talking to each other a lot."

I rubbed my chin. "Ah, I see where you're coming from. But still, you've got to give it a shot."

"I can't, not yet, not until I receive the award for Best Male Supporting Actor."

I gave him the blandest look I could ever muster. "I have half the mind to smack you over the head with this clipboard again."

"Please don't," he pleaded. "My head is already killing me as it is."

So is your stupid acting job, but let me give you some advice here. You're not Superman, you're not Mr. Perfect."

He blinked in confusion. "What?"

"An award isn't going to make a girl fall in love with you, man. You say that you're trying to make yourself worthy of her love, but it's not really that simple. You're not just trying to make yourself worthy, you're trying to make yourself _perfect_ , the ideal person you believe _she_ will love."

The young man's eyes widened slightly.

"But one of the few fundamental constants in this world is that _no one_ is perfect, _no one_ can be Superman. What matters in this world isn't being perfect, it's about being yourself. Because if this girl you've been chasing after for years can't love you for _you_ , well, then she was never worth it in the first place."

After I finished my piece, silence reigned over the room.

The young man stared at the ceiling for few minutes processing what I just told him.

"So...just tell her?" He spoke. "Just like that?"

I nodded. "Just like that."

"...What if she says no?"

"Then it's going to hurt." I said bluntly. "It's going to hurt a lot. You're going to ask yourself questions like 'why?'. Why this? Why that? Why a whole lot of things? But you must remember that while that particular road to love is gone, there are others open to you. It's just up to you to find them."

He gave me a bitter smile. "You sound like you speak from experience."

"High school is a thing you know."

I turned my attention to the clock in the room.

Shit, it's almost two in the morning! Chiyo must be panicking like hell right about now!

"Alright, I better leave, my girlfriend must be worried sick right now."

"Okay. Um, thank you, for bringing me to the hospital...um...ah..."

I sighed. "Ah, shit, I never really introduced myself did I?" I held my hand out. "I'm Zachary Mohammed, nice to meet you."

He firmly grasped my hand and shook it.

"I'm Lu Jin Nian, nice to meet you too, Zachary."

As I walked out of the room I remembered one last thing.

"Hey, Lu, one more piece of advice."

"Shoot."

"The pain of a broken heart and closure is nothing compared to constant regret and self-loathing. Just keep that in mind, alright?"

He nodded. "Alright."

"Also, I wrote my phone number on that clipboard, feel free to give me a call whenever you get out." I walked out of the room giving Lu a two finger wave. "Peace!"

* * *

About a week later, I got myself a new, waterproof, phone. With actual waterproofness, not sold separately. I tested it too.

Needless to say, there are a few poor orphaned Shoggoths out there right now. I threw the Nokia I was testing at their parents. But on the plus side, the tests came back positive for my new device!

Also, Lu gave me a call to meet him up by a nearby cafe. It was pretty close, so I didn't drive my car over.

As I looked over the cafe, I spotted Lu, waving at me. He was sitting down at a table outside of the establishment. Nice, the weather was beautiful today compared to last week.

"Lu, how've you been?" I greeted as I took a seat across from him.

"Hey, Zachary," he greeted back. "I can't complain, I took some time off of showbiz for the time being."

"That's great, Lu, you deserve a break," I noticed the splint on the index and middle finger of his right hand. "Sure, you should be out and about so soon?"

"It's fine, the doctor cleared me three days after I got in. My foot and shoulder are still pretty sore though."

I gave an exaggerated sighed. "Then you should have stayed home a rest."

Lu gave me a wry smile. "You're quite the worrywart, aren't you?"

I shrugged. "Someone's got to be it. So, what do you want to talk about?"

"Ah, yeah," he started to look nervous now. "You remember the girl I like?"

I leaned back into my seat. "Yeah."

"Well, you see, she's coming to town in about a week," Lu said nervously. "And well… I'm feeling pretty anxious here."

"Lu, buddy, you're going to confess to her when she gets here right?"

He looks me dead in the eyes, his resolve and determination were apparent.

"Yes, no matter what happens, I _will_ tell her how I feel."

I smiled, pleased at what I heard. Looks like my good talking to paid off.

He was going to tell this girl he loved her or die trying.

Knowing my luck, probably the latter. But that's just because I'm a pessimistic fuck.

"So, Lu, what do you do for fun around here? I'm still new to the country after all."

He blinked. "You're new here? I guess that would explain why you didn't know where the hospital was. Well...I'm honestly not too sure as well. I've just been so focused on my acting career that I kind of lost touch with almost everything else."

I scratched the back of my head. "Well, shit. Let's see then..."

I checked my phone to see if there were any interesting places around the area.

...Let's just say my disappointment was immeasurable.

"Eh, fuck it, want to play poker at my place?"

As the words left my mouth, I noticed an odd glint in Lu's eyes.

"Are we playing with cash or just chips?" he questioned.

"Uh, just chips."

He gave me a challenging smirked. "That's good, I thought I was just about to empty my new friend's poor wallet."

I deadpanned. "If it wasn't for the fact that I haven't gotten my latest paycheck yet, I would have taken the bait. So you in?"

"Sure, you live far from here?"

"Nah, I live by the apartment building a few blocks down."

* * *

Lu had to admit, Zachary's girlfriend, Chiyo, was one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen.

Chiyo seemed to be of Japanese descent. She had long, glistening, black hair and alluring, deep, purple eyes. Her body was like the sculpture of a goddess, the button-up sundress she wore only seemed to accentuate her large breast and wide hips. Her skin was a beautiful porcelain complexion.

She looked more like a work of art than an actual person. So beautiful it was honestly unreal. No, not unreal, unnatural.

Sure, his heart would _always_ belong to the love of his life, Qiao An Hao, but even he had to admit, girl daymn.

But now it was time to focus, and good god was Zachary's poker face good.

...Or it would have been if hadn't kept bouncing one of his legs whenever he got a bad hand.

Don't even get him started on how bad Chiyo was at hiding her emotions, poor girl didn't even have what could be considered a poker face.

She was grinning like a fool. Must be a good hand.

"I'll raise." Lu said as he moved some chips in.

Zachary sighed. "Fold."

Chiyo kept grinning though. "All in!"

Zachary put his face in his hands. "...Oh boy."

The woman beautiful woman showed her hand.

...A Two Pair.

Just...wow.

Lu put his hand down. "Full House."

He honestly felt bad as he saw the poor girl visibly deflate. "Awwwww..."

"Don't worry sweetie, we'll get'em next time." Zachary comforted his girlfriend.

Lu's face never betrayed any emotion, but on the inside, he grinned madly at that. If there was anything he took pride in, it was that his acting skills were top class.

He allowed himself to smile a little.

Hanging out with these two…it was nice.

* * *

Before anyone knew it, a week had passed and the "Fated Day", as Zachary liked to call it, was finally here.

His week, while crazy, had been pretty good for him.

Well, as good as it could be when you find out your friend's girlfriend is a cosmic horror that can cause insanity just by looking upon her true form.

...Which Zachary has told me he's seen.

Well, that at least explains why he eats eggs with ketchup and hates coffee. No sane person could ever do those things.

"So, got anything planned with how you're going to tell, or are you just going to straight up say it the first chance you get?" Zachary questioned.

Lu crossed his arms. "My brother, Xu, wanted all of us to go out to dinner together."

"So, her sister came too?"

"Yeah. Also, I told him about you can Chiyo and well, he was pretty insistent you two came along as well."

Zachary shrugged. "We got nothing planned, and it has been a while since we've gone out. I got no problem with tagging along."

"And Zachary, for the love of god, do not summon a Shoggoth again."

"Is this about what happened yesterday?"

"Zach, we were stuck between a snake god and a legion of fish people, what in the world made you think that summoning a giant, _hostile_ , sentient blob that's virtually indestructible was a good idea?"

"I thought it was a good distraction. Besides, I was able to get the snake god, Yig, on our side in the end. Those Deep Ones stood no chance."

"True, but I sware that snake god eyed me like I was a snack the whole time."

"He eyes everyone like they're a snack, Lu."

"That does not make me feel any better, Zachary."

Suddenly, Lu's phone started ringing.

He held it up to his ear.

"Hello...Yeah...You're planning it at eight...Got it...Yeah, Xu, they agreed to come...You too, I'll see you then." Lu turned to his new friend. "So..."

I nodded. "I heard. I'll be ready before eight, you know the place we're going to?"

"Yeah, I'll enter it into your phone."

* * *

" _Alright, Lu,"_ the actor thought to himself. " _You can do this, just say it, and that's it."_

Dinner had gone without a hitch.

Everything was perfect, the food was amazing, everyone was having a wonderful time. Xu Jia Mu, Qiao An Hao, and Qiao An Xia had no problems getting along with Zachary and Chyio they loved those two.

Hell, practically the whole time everyone was laughing their ass off at whatever crazy story Zachary would come up with.

And best of all, no eldritch cosmic shenanigans happened for once!

So, here he was. Just outside the restaurant, under the moonlight, the wind blowing slightly, the love of his life wanting to know why he asked her out here.

For a few seconds, he just stared at her.

Her platinum blonde hair with a pinkish hue flowed beautifully in the wind. Her eyes were a stunning mix of red and pink that he could get lost in for hours. The pink dress she wore that hugged her curves only added to her beauty.

To Lu Jin Nian, Qiao An Hao was second to none.

In that moment, Lu made his decision.

"Qiao, How long have we know each other? Almost thirteen years, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, ever since middle school," Qiao confirmed, she looked off to the side, her cheeks a dash of red. "It's been so long."

"Almost thirteen years," Lu said wistfully, a small smile gracing his face. "Huh, I've been in love with you for almost thirteen years, where does the time go?"

"Yeah, thirteen...wait what?" Qiao stared back at Lu, her eyes wide in disbelief at what she had heard.

Lu turned his head to the side bashfully, the blush on his face, even though it was night, was clear as day.

"I said I've been in love with you for almost thirteen years. Practically since the first time we've meet honestly."

To this day no one, not scientist, not supercomputers, and not even Yog-Sothoth would ever figure out how Qiao practically teleported into Lu's arms, straight up glomping him.

"Q-Qiao...!?" Lu was caught off guard by her reaction.

"...ou too." her voice was muffled as she pressed her face into his chest.

"What?"

"...I love you too."

As soon as he heard that he couldn't control himself any longer.

With his right hand, Lu made her look up at him and kissed her with as much love and passion as he could. And to his infinite joy, she kissed back with just as much fever.

After a good minute, the two finally pulled back.

They held each other in a loving embrace.

"So, does this mean..." Qiao trailed off.

"Yeah." Lu was all too happy to say it.

But just then…

" _ **RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!"**_

Oh for fuck's sake.

"CHIYO, I TOLD YOU NO SHOGGOTHS!" Zachary's voice shouted.

"THIS WASN'T MY FAULT I SWARE!" This time it was Chiyo. "IT WAS NYARLATHOTEP!"

"OH GOD WHAT IS THAT!?"

And that was Xu and Qiao's sister. Fuck.

"SOMEBODY GET ME MY FUCKING NOKIA!"

And it was Zachary again.

Qiao looked back at the restaurant in horror and confusion.

Lu sighed. "Give me a second, I'll fix this. Uh, How does a date tomorrow sound?"

Qiao smiled, despite the situation. "I'd like that."

 **The End**


	8. FateZero Servant SI

**So, I had an idea for a Fate/Zero SI where I was summoned as a Servant for the 4th Holy Grail War and Kieri Kotomine is my Master.**

 **Class:** Assassin

 **True Name:** Dante Pendragon

 **Master** : Kirei Kotomine

 **Alignment:** Chaotic Good

 **Strength:** C

 **Endurance:** D

 **Agility:** A+

 **Mana:** D+

 **Luck:** C+

 **Noble Phantasm:** EX

 **Class Skills:**

 **Presence Concealment:** A

 **Independant Action:** B

 **Personal Skills:**

 **Aptitude for Slaughter (Tools): A**

Plus modifier in damage dealt against 'humans'. No, servants do not count. Ended the lives of countless individuals under the orders of Morgan Le Fay.

 **At The Boundary: D+**

Is a Skill for those who walk within the Valley, are as one with Death, and are familiar with its ways. Very low chance to negate death's instantaneous imposition.

The Grail recognizes this Servant as a reincarnation before the Holy Grail War.

 **Mana Burst: C**

Is the increase in performance caused by infusing one's weapons and body with Magical Energy and instantly expelling it. Simply put, recreating the effect of a jet burst by expending large amounts of Magical Energy.

Due to its particular use by this servant, it is used to increase speed, not strength.

 **Noble Phantasm:**

 **Death's Touch: EX (Anti-Unit)  
**

A bastard sword made by Morgan le Fay, made to be the perfect assassination weapon.

Depending on the target's awareness of the user, and magic resistance, they can be killed instantly. However, the instant death can be reflected onto the user, once again, depending on the awareness and magic resistance as well as possessing certain skills.

 **This was made about a year ago, so I've changed my thoughts on how some things work here.**


	9. Dark Souls SI

So, you all know that Dark Souls Self-Insert fic aren't the most original, but to hell with it, I want to take a crack at it myself.

The reason why is because of two different fics up on FF, Dark Souls: Derp Edition by Supreme Gamer and the Why Can't I series by Gensh.

A while both stories have their problems, Derp Souls loses it's drep pretty quickly with over two hundred thousand words of the Prophet just dicking around and only _now_ is the story at Anor Londo and only because Velka and Gwyndolin were all like "Fuck it, we're skipping Blighttown."

And the Why Can't I series is a little confusing at times, mostly with tone changes that give me whiplash so severe I think I broke my spine. That and dimension hopping, like somehow this story's Prophet was sent to Dark Souls 2 just after he fixed Dark Soul 1 then gets thrown into Bloodborne, then Dark Souls 3 wants to say hi.

It's all over the fucking place, but both are fairly entertaining.

So, the premise of this Dark Souls Self-Insert is sort of similar, here's the twist, I don't start out as one of the guys in the Undead Asylum. What I start out as is one of the Ringed Knights, fighting in the war between Gwyn and the Archdragons.

Yeah, are going to get very crazy, very fast. I'm throwing in some Demon's Souls in there too with the ruins of Boletaria, finding Soulbrandt and Demonbrandt and turning them into the Northern Regalia for maximum bullshit.

Throughout the story, the SI is going to interact with a lot of major players, like Artorias, before shit hit the fan.

The story will be going through all three Dark Souls games, and you all know me, there's going to be a ton of meta jokes and memes.

The pairing is going to be with the SI and, surprisingly, Velka the Goddess of Sin.

Why? Because I'm going to make her look like Albedo from Overlord. My logic is sound.

So, what do you guys think of me turning this absolute finely tuned fuck fest of a game series, into a crackish finely tuned fuck fest of a story?


	10. Monster Girl Quest SI

Now, if you've been reading my shit on FF back in my early days, you know I've been promising this one for w fucking _while_.

It's time to explain that Monster Girl Quest fic idea!

So, I die... in an explosion. Like every other damn SI fic I've ever done. What can I say, Truk-kun is allergic it me and blows up on contact. or just a potato in the tailpipe.

But instead of ending up in Hell like I know I will, I end up in the Six Ancestor Seal with the First Monster Lord, and we all know Zelretch and or Nyarlathotep had a hand in this!

So, Alice the First tells me she knows Ilias isn't going to keep her end of the bargain, and the crazy bitch found a way to keep the Seal from breaking even if she mass slaughter monsters everywhere. She wants me to find a way to break the seal so her and the other Ancestors can open up a can of whoop-ass on Ilias and her angles.

And precedes to explain to me the reason why Critical Ecstasy exists.

Turns out the monster girls are actually extremely sensitive to pleasure, but when Critical Ecstasy was inserted into the metaphysical rules of the world, the pleasure is numbed and what _should_ happen is reversed into the human feeling extreme pleasure.

Alice the First reincarnates me into Luka's body after we talk about my knowledge of canon and devise a plan, turns out Alice the First reincarnated me with me being the sole expectation to Critical Ecstasy.

My most powerful weapon is ma dick!

SI!Luka: You think I give a hora!? Your domination fetish means nothing to me!

Then fast-forward into the plot, some crazy shit happens, I get super injured, Promestein shows up to pull my ass out of the fire and give rebuild me because she has the technology! I get the White Rabbit drug and modified it with the dark energy in Angle Halo that has been gathered for who knows how long. Then when we get to the end of Part 2 where Illias invades the castle, I inject the drug into my heart, with the angle sealing ring off, and it causes an explosion of dark energy so great that it saturates the atmosphere and breaks the seal.

But I didn't die from the drug, no, no, no, I underwent a transformation turning into the Fallen God. Eh, get it? Fallen Angel, Fallen God? Eh, eh? ...I'll throw myself off a cliff now.

SI!Luka: All ya'll asses whipped! And not in the kinky way.

And I already have a name for this fic too.

 **Operation: Touch Fluffy Tail**

Please, tell me what you all think of this monstrosity I've created! 


	11. The Gamer of Chaos Undivided

So, I came up with this idea after a friend of mine introduced me to Warhammer 40k...and after wasting my life on the wiki.

The gist of this is that the Chaos Gods, Khorne, Tzeentch, Slaanesh, and Nurgle take the soul of someone from Terra, but not _just_ from Terra, a soul from a time when Terra was still called Earth.

Unfortunately, I got picked.

And after getting an explanation worthy of If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device, I'm thrusted into the middle of a war between the Orks, and the Space Marines of the Blood Ravens Chapter.

But the "Chaos Gamer" gets some cool extra functions, like faction-specific rewards, all of my quests come directly from the Chaos Gods, new abilities based on what faction of Chaos I earn "Loyalty Points" from.

And just like my other Gamer fic, The Eldritch Gamer, the Chaos Gods are going to make commentary over what I do sometimes.

So, what do you all think of this small piece of mind fuckery?


	12. God Eater Self Insert

So, as always, this is another Self-Insert that I've had in my noggin for years.

A God Eater SI fic!

But hold on, there's a twist!

Due to reasons in the story, I'm a mute, so not only can I not properly communicate with people, but I can't spread the memes.

...How tragic!

Also, the story is told from everyone else's perspective. While I am the main character, doing crazy shit as an SI does, it's mostly about everyone's reactions to said crazy shit.

Like fucking with Bullet Editor for max bullshit!

Me and Lindow back to back fighting armies of Aragami.

Flirting with Alisa...for _trying_ to because I'm _mute!_

The salt is real with this one.

But most importantly...being a fucking hack!

Definitely starting with the first game, but I'm probably going to pull some shit so that I end up something like the Adaptive God Eater from the third game.

Three Arts in one package. How could I resist?

So, yeah, this is a short but sweet fic idea.

Also, Alisa and Ciel are Best Girls.


	13. Tales of Berseria Self-Insert fic

So, JRPGs.

I have quite a few that I'd like to give my shot at for a Self-Insert fic, notably Tales of Xillia, Tales of Xillia 2, Final Fantasy VII, Xenoblade Chronicles 2, but for now, let's just focus on one I hold very dear to my heart, Tales of Berseria.

And if you've played Berseria, then you know it as one of the darkest Tales games ever, only being topped by Xillia 2, which also takes my vote as the most depressing Tales of Game ever.

Seriously, every ending in Xillia 2 kicks me in the emotional gut a thousand times.

So, basically, this is a Self-Insert/Peggy Sue fic where in an alternate timeline, I was reborn as Laphicet Crowe and became a Therion while Velvet Crowe was the one who became Innominat. As you can already guess, quite a few things such as character dynamics changed not only because of the character switch but also because of how my personality works.

The story starts off at the end of my timeline, and how this is different than the canon version is that I'm all for just straight up killing Innominat, but before I do, I have good ol' Malak!Laphicet purify the other Therions so that only I kick the bucket when Innominat does.

And the plan works.

Unfortunately, I didn't expect the other Empyrean to reward my troubles by sending me into the fucking canon timeline just as Velvet was about to be knocked out by Artorius - Not my Abysswalker - Collbrande. I am also out cold when I show up, so they do the easy thing and throw both of us in that cell at the beginning of the game together.

And so the story begins!

What do you all think of this master class in fucking up royal? 


	14. Overlord Self-Insert

Hi, guys, tonight's idea is going to be weird as fuck...that or just standard affair for me.

So, Overlord...the anime, not the game.

An Iseikai unlike any other! One where the MC is the _bad guy!_ And his goal is to take over the world!

Now, I'm pretty sure you've all read the fics we're Momonga/Ainz/Bone Dady/Calcium Father/Skeletor has either been replaced or had another person with him when they had all contracted the dreadful disease known as Isekaitise!

And as you all know about with my unhealthy obsession with Self-Inserts, you all know I'm replacing Ainz...somehow. Probably that I'm an old guild member that stuck around and Ainz got hacked the day before the shutdown, and I'm now stuck in a new world with waifus and absolutely loyal servants at my beck and call...how tragic.

Now, the basis for this character is that I get an exclusive class for beating the even boss Cainabel as a human, which gives me the option of changing my race into an exclusive race known as a Bloodly King, which is heavily based on the Bloody Queen from Elsword with some Alucard from Hellsing thrown in for good measure.

Now, since I'm shit at RPing, I don't even _try_ to act evil and imposing, and spill the beans to the now sentient NPCs that everything was a game.

Unfortunately, they misinterpret this as the guild taking over Yggdrasil when they weren't even taking things seriously and are now even _more_ impressed with us, and all but literally place me on a pedestal.

So, the story goes as follows, at first I'm all like "No, we're not taking over the world! Yggdrasil wasn't a real world, this one is, people will actually die when they are killed and _stay_ dead!"

...Then the Slane Theocracy decide to be dicks and attack the guild multiple times because...well they're dicks, and it's happened so many times to the point where I fucking snap and personally _dismantle_ whatever pathetic army they sent that particular time and decide to take over the world with little to no subtlety, Sauron style.

How's this crazy idea, my bois? 


	15. Danmachi X Bloodborne

Alright, Danmachi and Bloodborne.

We've seen it done before! More specifically, we've seen it done...kind of well with Paleblood by Arrixam, I have my own problems with that story, but I like it for the most part.

And like all of my other stories, this is going to be a self-insert.

And while I do become a Hunter, it's through a very unique manner.

So, get thrown into Danmachi by Zelertch, and what Familia do I join?

Well, the Flora Familia of course! You know, Flora of The Moon? ...The Moon Presence? This ringing any bells? Good!

So, Gehrman the First Hunter is usually let out of the Hunter's Dream by Flora, to explore the Labyrinth City Orario. Mostly to stretch his...wheelechair and find possible new members of the Familia. Which he never does due to everyone's tendency to never join 'no name' Familias.

Then one day, Gehrman comes across my poor ass and offers a chance to join the Flora Familia.

After considering all of the horrible awful things that happen to me, which include going insane, constantly dying with no end in sight, and probably become a grotesque abomination, I give Gehrman my eloquent answer.

"Sure! What could possibly go wrong?"

Surprisingly, Murphy's Law did _not_ decide to sink it's teeth into my butt cheeks and rip them out.

I'm, instead, sent into the Hunter's Dream with Gehmran, and the Moon Presence immediately proceeds to read my whole mind, paying particularly close attention to the events of Bloodborne, specifically, the ending where the Good Hunter kills it and becomes a Great One.

Let's just say Flora isn't very keen on getting herself killed. On a good note, she knows I don't want to kill her. So we're all good.

Then Gehrman starts training me in the way of the Hunters. Cue the comedy training montage of me getting my ass kicked and I'm set.

Thrown into Danmachi, joining a Bloodborne Familia run by the game's secret final boss.

This can only end so well. 


	16. Rising of The Sword Hero

Alright, raise your hand if you know the series The Rising of The Shield Hero!

...

I see... you're all fired for _not_ confusing it with Rising Revengance

So, here's the start of a new bullshit isekai Self-Insert story, this one involving The Rising of The Shield Hero, which is the first ever dark isekai I've ever read.

The idea of this came from this thought: _"What would the story be like if one of the Heroes truly believed Naofumi was innocent from the start?"_

Sure, we have Redo of The Spear Hero... but that was some dumb shit, and while I do love dumb shit, I want to do my own thing!

So, this is the premise, I'm summoned into The Rising of The Shield Hero world as the Sword Hero, and when Naofumi gets framed for raping Malty Melromarc the First Princess of Melromarc, I stand up for the guy immediately, much to everyone's surprise.

And from there, the story goes onto to me doing what I can to help Naofumi while having extremely tense relationships with everyone in Melromarc.

The most interesting part about this is the system I get with being the Sword Hero.

From what I understand, the system the Heroes get are based on their experiences in their original world with the only exception being that they need monster parts and elements to unlock new weapons.

And I'm a man that loves his Devil May Cry, Bayonetta, God of War, Killer is Dead, you get it, that over the top Character Action bullshit that makes me harder than diamond. And I know just how I want this system to work too.

While it does level up like the other Holy Weapons, it works more like I'm playing a Devil May Cry game. Killing mobs will not just give me EXP, but BP Battle Points, which I can put into a skill tree think of them like Red Orbs or Proud Souls from DMC... or BP from Metal Gear Rising. As I put more BP into the skill tree I'll unlock combos and attacks minor stat boosts. The skill tree grows as I unlock new sword forms and can even unlock entirely new swords that I wouldn't be able to get through monster materials through the right conditions.

But the sheer _size_ of the skill three is fucking ridiculous and will make sure things don't get stale for a long while! Think Final Fantasy 10's skill tree.

But here's something interesting with the combos, while I can just slash shit randomly, that won't do NEARLY as much damage as specified combos. So, in the same vein as DMC, I also have combo rankings too. The higher my combo ranking, the higher the BP I get from a fight.

Let's just say that this is going to go into some Metal Gear Rising bullshit very early on.

And will be amazing!


	17. The Epiphany!

Before anyone asks, yes, the Monster Girl smut fic is being worked on, I'm just a lazy fuck.

Second, I'm not sure if this will be a full blown fic or just a series of one-shots, probably the later.

So, on to the topic of this...I don't even know what this is.

What would happen if the character, just as their story starts, gained my memories?

Now, I'm not talking a Self-Insert, they're still themselves, just with my memories being shoved into their skulls - particularly thick skulls - just as their series starts.

Like, for example, Godou from Campione!, Ichika from Infinite Stratos, Rito from Tu Love Ru, and my favorite choice so far, Ayato from The Asterisk War, just so that moron can realize how inconsistent and dumb his own world is.

I can so see something this dumb idea getting into some crazy shenanigans very quickly.


	18. Devil May Cry SI

Alright, sit down, you nerds.

I'm going to hit you with some of the stylish shit.

A Devil May Cry Self Insert fic... _No_ not that shitty reboot! Get it out of here, fuckin' disgusting.

Alright, how is this going down? Am I going to SI as Dante, Nero, or Vergil?

Please, my soul would burn to a crisp just out of the sheer awesome their bodies are comprised out of.

Instead, I'm going to be borrowing an idea from a few other DMC fics such as The Sin of Pride from Darkandus, I Didn't Ask For This from Mizuki_Stone and Little Demon That Could: Mook Always Cry by ryuan.

I die and am reborn as a Hell Pride from DMC3, the weakest of the reaper guys you fight in the game.

So, I start out the lowest of the low, and through Red Orbs and the Divinity Statues, I'm able to purchase combos, powers ups, and abilities that will eventually give me that **Smokin' Sexy Style**.

And since this story is going to take place in DMC3, I'm defiantly going to meet up with Dante and Lady, and nearly get killed by both of them.

Either way, it's going to be one hell of a party.

And I've already got a name for this fic.

Pull My Devil Trigger!


	19. To Love Ru SI

Alright, To Love Ru.

We all know it, we all love it, and we all _hate_ Rito with a passion.

So, let's fix this with a Self-Insert because fuck it. Though no meta-knowledge because knowing the future of the events of To Love Ru isn't going to be all that useful anyway...until Darkness, but even then it's just Rito being dragged along.

Long story short, it's basically just me being reborn as Rito, but when Lala enters the picture, how I interact with her will be drastically different compared to Rito. For one, I'll encourage her to keep inventing instead of berating her constantly like a jackass. This brings in a massive change in where Lala teaches me a whole bunch of cool stuff about alien teach and since she's such an airhead and forgets what half of her inventions do, I can keep track of that for her.

That and I can just be a massive troll towards Yui because fuck does every time she shouts "Shameless!" I die a bit inside.

And then when Yami shows up and tries to kill me. Let's just say I don't take it laying down and ask Lala to help me with building a suit of power armor along with tracking down a particularly infamous alien sword known as Bladix. Ya'll remember that one time Kujō Rin got possessed by a sword that really wanted to be bathed in blood? Yeah, that one. I have Lala reforge it with some help from Zastin and after that I'll take the fight to Yami.

It ends in a draw though.

And the story gets crazier from there.

And before anyone even asks.

Yes, I'm going the harem route.


	20. Persona X SNAFU

So, I'm going to say it, I haven't beaten a single Persona game, and I haven't even read or watched My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU.

Fuck it! Let's make a crossover anyway!

Alright, this idea mainly comes from the fact that I've read a few SNFU fics and gone on the wiki a few times, and I find Hachiman's character really interesting.

And a random thought came to mind.

What would happen if Hachiman encountered his own Shadow Persona 4 style?

His Shadow would be one of the most interesting things to come out of this idea due to just how interesting Hachiman himself is.

He hates the world and hates fucking damn near everything. And through all the bullshit bullying he's gone through in his past, he's resorted to being a loner by choice, seeing social interaction and the concept of youth and love as nothing but a lie and a farce.

But deep down...

He doesn't want to be alone, the one thing he truly wants is something genuine with another person, the _last_ thing he truly wants is to be alone. And that, in it of itself, is greatest hypocrisy of his own ideals, because he says the thing he hates most is lying to one's self. He loathes superficial acting to blend in, but he himself acts superficially to stand out.

And his Shadow would show him that. It would _break him_ through that.

But by overcoming that, he would gain a Persona.

Now, my idea for Hachiman is that he becomes a Wild Card for this story, but the thing is, I've two different ideas for this.

Here's the simple one.

Hachiman, after all the crap he's had to deal with through life, moves to Inaba with his family. He becomes the leader of Investigation Team and things would play out as they would in Persona 4 but with how Hachiman is, character interacts would be drastically changed.

Here's my own original idea.

Supernatural shit starts going down in Chiba, probably Philemon and Nyarlathotep causing some shit again. People are going missing, rumors start floating, police are investigating to no results, the whole city is getting restless. The one day, maybe a day or a week after Hachiman is introduced and forced into the Service Club, he gets involved in all this crazy shit. He ends up in a Dark Hour sort of situation, but think of it more like a mirror world.

Hachiman's just minding his own business, walking along, then bam, all of a sudden the world changes. The city's in ruins, the world is tinted red, and while the city is damn near barren, there are at least a handful of people near his location.

Then the Shadows start coming out of everywhere, like a god damn swarm of locust. They don't even get a chance to run away before they're all devoured by the Shadows, but that's not where it ends for them.

In this setting, when one is devoured by a Shadow, they do not die immediately. In their minds, they are confronted by their very own Shadow Selves, if they are able to accept themselves, they gain a Persona and is able to fight back against the horde of Shadows and escape. If not...well you can guess.

And Hachiman, against all odds stacked against him, in a long gurgling battle against his Shadow Self, physically, and emotionally, he finds it in himself to accept himself.

Now armed with the power of the Persona and the Wild Card, Hachiman dives back into the hellish Shadow World whenever possible, to help anyone trapped there escape, and to find out just what in the hell is going on.

So, how's this crazy idea?


	21. Discontinued and Deleted Stories

Alight, bitches! Listen up, while this mostly concerns my people on FF, but my QQ hoes would probably like to know some of the shit I'm puttin' down here. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to slap the bargain bin gangster out of me.

 _SMACK!_

...That's better.

Here's the point, on FF I have my fair shear of discontinued stories. The thing is, my story count on there is 22. Getting a bit crowed wouldn't you say. So, I'm deleting those pieces of trash that I'm not updating and never will anymore.

These stories are listed here.

 **The Greatest Show Unearthed** (My first fanfiction...my _utter disdain at its existence will forever haunt me_ )

 **The Greatest Show Reborn** (Failed reboot attempt)

 **The Path Less Traveled By**

 **A Hand Well Played** (While it was fun, I could rework this and do it so much better. Expect a rewrite or something, either way, I'm keeping that 10/10 summary.)

 **The Necessary Evil** (Whatever prompted me to make this story can burn in _three_ fires)

 **Date A Dreamer** (The regular version. not the new one. Ah, the memories...and the out of control escalation.)

 **Heaven and Hell, Abyss and Blood** (Ah, my third story...what the fuck was I thinking when I made this. I know drugs that wouldn't get me high enough to come close for my mind to come up with this shit.)

 **The Annihilating Dhampir** (This is the one that will ruffle everyone's jimmies the most. I'm just really not happy with how I have everything set up with the story right now. Honestly, I sort of loathe it...Except for airhead Rias, that's adorable and sticking with it.)

Ya got a week, or whenever the hell I get off my lazy ass to read this garbage or download it through some method...if you feel like downloading hot garbage.

So, yeah, ya'll be getting a _The Annihilating Dhampir_ rewrite and _A Hand Well Played_ rewrite sometime in the future.


	22. PROTOTYPE Crossover SI choice

Alright, Nerds, I'm in the mood to make another new fic, but not just any new fic...an SI crossover fic. But not just any SI crossover fic, I want one dealing with the [PROTOTYPE] series!

So, I've got two ideas, Highschool of The Dead X [PROTOTYPE], I've already explained this one in a previous post, but if you don't feel like hunting it down, then here's what it's basically all about. Reincarnated as Takashi Komuro, not sure if it should be about a week before the outbreak happens or be reborn into him when he was born, either way, the world's zombie outbreak is caused by Alex Mercer, who in this story escaped N.Y.Z. and Heller and fleed to Japan to try again, but not before causing full-blown pandamonium worldwide by releasing Black Light in select locations around the world.

Basically, Alex causes the zombie apocalypse, like legit, Black Watch can't do shit. At this point, it doesn't matter if Alex lives or dies, the world is essentially fucked. So, Alex is in Japan, creating more Evolved for Take Two: Electric Boogaloo of his plan, and during the outbreak at the school, he turns me into an Evolved. Why? Because if he was dumb enough to turn Heller into one, he's dumb enough to turn me too.

Cue the cast of HoTD and [PROTOTYPE] having to deal with my crazy shit because no one thought it was a bad idea to give a nerdy teenager superpowers that all but work off of the user's creativity.

Alright, here's the over crossover idea.

Kyochuu Rettou X [PROTOTYPE].

Now, if you don't know what Kyochuu Rettou is, then think Cage of Eden...but with giant man-eating bugs that will give you nightmares for life.

Let's see, we've got super hot girls, characters that I'd love to punch in the face, and if I do go on with this crossover, the SI has damn near endless possibilities with his ability set due to consuming _giant fuckin' bugs!_ Plus insectoid themed Black Light powers sound awesome.

The set up for this would be an SI-OC integrated into the main cast with no foreknowledge aside from the [PROTOTYPE] stuff, the giant bugs would be another experiment create by Gentek, Alex would've fled N.Y.Z. to the bug island, knowing about it by consuming shit tons of Gentek scientists, with Heller hot on his trail, and no doubt Black Watch would be involved in this cluster fuck too.

And all of them, the giant bugs included, all have to deal with my crazy ass shit once I get super powers because Alex is a dumb fuck.

Also, Oribe Mutsumi is best girl!

Now, choose one of the story options already, dammit!


	23. The Interface Preview

**So, bois and gurls!**

 **The One-Shot series fic for the Concept Manipulation Magecraft/True Magic idea for the Type-Moon universe is being written right now. Basically, each chapter is its own scenario, sometimes they're written for shits and giggles, sometimes it's a life lesson the SI learns.**

 **For the first chapter, it's all about being yourself, and not trying to be someone you're not. Cheesy, sure, but it works, and it's meaningful.**

 **And here's a little preview of what this train wreck entails!**

 _I got reincarnated into the body of Shirou "Hero" Emiya just as the Fuyuki Fire happened. Kiritsugu saved and adopted me. He still didn't fully teach me magecraft because he's an idiot that didn't realize that since the Einzberns knows he alive, who's to say anyone that has a grudge against him doesn't as well? That and I doubt realistically, the Einzberns would leave Avalon alone without a fight._

 _...But over the course of ten years, nothing fucking happened. So, screw any sort of realism, I guess._

 _At the very least I was able to, very painfully mind you, kick start my Magic Curcits through a Nerve Circuit. It took some trial and error, but look on his face when I pulled it off, so glad I had that camera on hand that day._

 _Unfortunately, I still only knew Projection, Structural Analysis, and Reinforcement. So, I did as any dumb fan of the Fate series would when thrown into Shirou's body, try my hand at Tracing._

 _...Which I had minimal success in. And considering that I probably didn't have Shirou's Origin and Element of Sword, which I could only speculate at the time, it was to be expected. Hell, the only reason I got so far with it was that I knew all of the required steps of Tracing by heart and through subconscious use of what my real magecraft is._

 _As the Grail War kicked off, it was my belief that only Tracing would get me through the ordeal alive, not to mention the only surefire method of taking Gilgamesh down._

 _But no matter how hard I tried over the course of ten years before the Grail War, I could never use Tracing effectively in the way Shirou and Archer did. This would get me killed in no time flat, it was Bad End Central, I wasn't about that life, fam._

 _I had ten years to train up for this Grail War! Ten years with my Magic Curcits unlocked unlike Shirou in canon! I spent ten years trying to master Tracing with an almost obsessive zealous!_

 _And what did I have to show for it?_

 _An aluminum bat that I Traced and used to whack Cú Chulainn so hard in the face that he was sent flying out of the school's second-story window._

 _Okay, now that I think about it, that wasn't too bad._

 _He was a Saber this time for some reason, probably Butterfly Effect or some shit._

 _Either way, that glorious swing was my dying action, getting stabbed in the chest kills people after all. But as shown time and time again in this series, people do not die when they are killed._

 _Thanks for the pick-me-up, Rin. Love you!_

 **I'd like you all to know that not even my body is ready for this!**


End file.
